The Sad Sausage

25 random facts about me

2009-03-31T17:09:58Z

Hocus pocus - you're in focus!

Rules:
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU.

(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish)

*********************

1. I've only ever lost one game of Twister in my life.

2. My hair has been dyed in a multitude of colours since I was fifteen. I haven't seen my natural brown colour since then.

3. My right nipple is bigger than my left one.

4. The nails on my pinky toes are not flat like the rest of my nails. They're sort of like little spikes made of... well, nail.

5. When I was in kindergarten, I wanted to be a fireman when I grew up. Then I'd get to smash in doors with axes, fight fires with that huge waterhose, climb up ladders to save people and get to ride in the fire truck. I still wonder why I don't have this aspiration any more.

6. I like to colour-coordinate when choosing what to wear. You'll rarely, if ever, see me with a red shirt without my red sneakers or something else to match. This makes it difficult for me to have all the different colours in my hair, because I'll go a bit at autistic about which clothes I should wear.

7. I like cheese.

8. Not as much as I like Buffy: the Vampire Slayer, though.

9. Ghost World is my favourite comic, albeit I prefer stories about super heroes. My current obsession is with Runaways, which coincidentally, Joss Whedon has also worked on.

10. I often want to run away and join the circus.

11. Not really, though. I just have a hard time figuring out where I want to be. Now I want to move somewhere with eternal summer like California, or a place with the same lack of rain, sub-zero degrees and narrowmindedness I have come to loathe. Ask me in a week or so, and I might want to go to Minsk.

12. I have worked in a toystore (Krible-Krable) for over five years now. I'm not planning on finding another job anytime soon.

13. Usually I find fate, religion, horoscopes and superstition - basically anything other than science sort of lame. But all the characteristics of the Libra fits on me unlike any other Zodiac sign.

14. Which makes me want to believe in the science that was created many thousands years ago might actually have some sort of credibility, though they did not have the instruments to prove anything besides "God commands it", they might have been on to something. Or not. I have yet to decide, what I make of these matters.

15. I love the 90's and most of the fads that came and went with them, like the Gen X-movement (or lack thereof), bad eurodance music and third wave feminism.

16. Tabloids, ANTM and pop culture are all guilty pleasures of mine. Sometimes so much, that I forget what I don't like ironically.

17. My favourite book is The Little Prince.

18. My Spanish is worse than my German, which is probably better than my Japanese and far superior to my French. Not that I know any of these, really.

19. I like to notice odd coincidences, like most celebrities dying at age 27 end up becoming legendary. It's an odd fascination, not unlike my thing with the apocalypse.

20. My mom and dad have never been married, and I don't remember them ever being together. My grandmom and -dad died before I was born, and my other ones live in the States. I'm of a mixed heritage - both Danish, American, Italian and Roma, I believe.

21. The worst characteristic, I can think of, is indifference. At least try to cover it up with irony, if there ever comes a time, when you don't care. Please!

22. I have no idea how or where to place the English comma. Usually I end up putting them the same places I would have, if I was writing in Danish. Which is far too often, I'm told.

23. Once I knew every line of dialouge from Buffy by heart. Now it's reduced to a few choice episodes.

24. I'm not as funny as most people think I am. I'm good at recognizing humour and copying it, though.

25. I am smarter than most people think, though. And probably dumber than some think, too. When given the choice between sounding profound and deep or entertaining and awkward, I'll go for the latter.

Writer's Block: What a Way to Make a Living

2009-03-22T15:27:19Z

What's the worst job you've ever had?

View 501 Answers

Back when I was thirteen, I delivered papers and the commercials that followed them. Usually they were sorted into little piles ready to be dropped through the doorcrack, but there were times, when this was very much not the case, and I'd have to spend two hours making these myself for no extra fee what-so-ever. Even when the newspapers had been sorted by some machine or Chinese child-labourer beforehand, they never fit through the crack, which in no way added to the level of motivation that I didn't even have to start with.
Mind you, this was before the golden times, when the law dictated that mail had to be delivered in boxes by the entrance instead of each individual door, so I'd have to go up three or four flights of stairs with this heavy pile of papers, and try to make them fit into these impossibly-sized cracks. When I was bored, I tried to think of this proces as sex. That'd get old fast.
Also, I'd have to dial up individual apartments in order for them to let me into their complex, which wasn't exactly an easy task, when these local papers had to be delivered before noon on saturday. People weren't awake yet, and those who were, did not always feel like letting me in, because they rightfully thought it was a crap paper I delivered to begin with. So I'd argue with them, that I did not write these papers, and yes, they were crap, and if they did not want them, they'd have to get a special sticker to put on their door for that. Every saturday. Every complex - of which there were 37.

The pay sucked too. It was not payed by the hour or the weight of the papers I'd have to deliver. It was set on 620kr., per month. This is about 100 dollars or so. I needed the money though. This was around the time of my moms worst depression, in which she had no monthly pay check she could spend on giving me allowance or lunch, when I had to go the school, so I stuck with the job for a year, which is about the stupidest thing I've ever done. My route was located in Tingbjerg, which is one of the closest things Denmark has to a ghetto, so I'd have all of these prepubescent gangs harrassing me, stealing the papers or the cart I used to deliver them ever so often.

One time, IKEA catalouges were a part of the delivery job. That's when I gave up and threw all of the papers and catalouges out in a huge recycling-bin and told the company I would never, ever do they dirty job again. Ever. I'm forever an idiot for thinking, it was a good idea in the first place.

Band meme

2009-02-26T20:19:45Z

Shanghai'ed from llywela13 because I want a band as well!

1 - Go to Wikipedia and click on the link for a random article — The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random quotations" — The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr's "explore the last seven days" — Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use Photoshop, MS Paint, or similar to put it all together.

5 - Post it with this text.

Here you go!

Initial-meme

2009-02-08T16:35:56Z

Rules: It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and randomly tag 10 people (including me). Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real. . .nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

1. What is your name: Aleksander
2. A four Letter Word: Ache
3. A boy's Name: André
4. A girl's Name: Anya(nka)
5. An occupation: Acrobat
6. A color: Asian
7. Something you wear: Apron
8. A food: Apricot
9. Something found in the bathroom: Air refreshener-thingie.
10. A place: Atlanta
11. A reason for being late: Anal sex
12. Something you shout: Ass!
13. A movie title: A Scanner Darkly
14. Something you drink: Ale
15. A musical group: Ace of Base
16. An animal: Ape
17. A street name: Adilsvej
18. A type of car: Alfa Romeo
19. Something scary: Alien abductions
20. Ice cream flavor: Acaisorbet

Investigating Alias and what-not.

2008-11-04T11:17:11Z

This is the reason why, there might still be hope for me ever atending college somewhere in a very distant future; angry, feminist propaganda/academia on TV-shows:

"...Sydney struggles daily to assert her own agency from within a series of male-dominated espionage institutions (SD-6, the CIA and APO) as well as the spy-genre itself.
While Sydney does not overthrow such agencies, the series' juxtaposition of the conventions of the spy genre with melodrama offers a space for its heroine to regularly challenge and undermine them by offering a vision of the new heroine: a heroine strong enough in mind and body to confront her male superior, in the men's restroom, in order to challenge his competency when his political machinations compromise one of her missions:

Lindsey: What exactly is the purpose of this conversation?
Sydney: o let you know that I will take you to the mat every time you pull something like this. I am not impressed by the fact that you play golf with the President. What you did was moronic and borderline criminal.
Lindsey: Has it slipped your mind that I am the director of the National Security Council? I can pick up the phone and have you thrown into the same jail cell that your father just vacated. Hell! It's stil warm.
Sydney: Do it. Give me an object lesson in abuse of power. Show me how it's done.
Lindsey: If you're finished... this is the men's room.
Sydney: Who let you in?
('Succession', 3:2)

Here the narrative's position within this male-dominated environment enables Sydney to underminde patriarchy on its own terrain as she challenges Lindsey's position as a politician and as a man."

... Måske jeg skulle tage mig lidt sammen, hvad angår mit fremmøde (eller mangel på samme) i gymnasiet. Det kunne jo være, at jeg selv kunne skrive sådan en bog om Mercedes von Bech engang. Man kan altid håbe.
Maybe I should get my act together, when it comes to my current level of attendance (or lack thereof) in highschool. Maybe, and just maybe, I'd want to write a book like that about Mercedes von Bech. One could always hope.

helloninja @ 2008-10-26T23:44:00

2008-10-26T22:45:36Z

01. Think of the first word that comes to mind when you think of me.
02. Go to Google Images and search for that word.
03. Reply to this post with one of the pictures on the first page of results (don't tell me the word).
04. Put this in your own journal so that I can do the same

Dear diary,

2008-10-22T09:28:25Z

do you know that feeling, when you just woke up, and your eyelids stick to your eyeballs, all you can see is sort of blurry and menacing? It was hard enough to get myself out of bed and go to school this morning, but with my body working against me, I felt as though the first class was not so demanding of my attention, as for me to ignore my inability to be awake.

But now I'm sitting here in front of a computer to write a little assignment about the origin of the English language. Welcome to the karma hotel - looks like heaven but could be hell.

This is why I love life.

2008-10-06T09:18:50Z

http://googlebattle.com/index.php?domain=Buffy&domain2=Feminism&submit=Go%21

Buffy > Feminism.
You do the math.

helloninja @ 2008-08-25T08:58:00

2008-08-25T07:00:26Z

The reason for me not updating more often/at all, stems from me not having anything worth sharing. I can't exactly figure out why - but it seems as though all the things going on at the moment requires more attention than the "me documenting it"-proces.

What did I miss out on?

Taste the rainbow.

2007-09-20T18:23:54Z

It's been a while since my last update. I still haven't figured out my computer, but I've been experimenting with a bunch of different hair colours since last time, that I have some pictures of.

Blonde:

This was the colour of my hair last time I wrote a post, but since then I've been through something that sorta reminds of a greek tradegy of dyes, most of them temporary, which meant that they only looked good before I washed my hair. Luckily I don't take showers that often, so they stayed in for about a week.

Copper:

Pink:

Red:

Mahogani (or so the package said):

Ocean Blue:

Close to my real shade of brown:

Aside from my having a bit too much money - and therefore dye - on my hands, I've been doing a lot. Kasper and I decided that our relationship wasn't really going anywhere, at least not in the romantic department, and broke up. We still text eachother occassionally, and he's still here on livejournal, so it's not like we're mortal enemies... yet.
I met another guy though, and we've been going steady *insert girly squee here* about two months now, which is awesome. We see eachother all the time, and although we're not like madly in love, we like eachother. He's on deviantart (idioti.deviantart.com) and now, so am I (thesadsausage.deviantart.com). It's not as though I uploaded anything "real" yet, though. Most of my drawings are sketches, and I feel as though I should present some of my more polished and non-existant works on the profile.
Whatever.

I won't end this post with a promise I'm not sure I'd be able to keep, about posting a lot more now. I'll see you guys sometime soon though, okay? And I might even make an ACTUAL update, that has a topic and everything next time.

Insert witty title here

2007-07-12T08:44:10Z

I spent last week at the Roskilde Festival. I got wet, as did everyone else attending. Apparently it was the wettest festival ever, which is funny, because last year was the most dry. I suppose global warming really does have an effect on everyday life after all. I'm too post-Roskilde bombed to say anything wise about it. Matmos rocked, as did Basement Jaxx and Arcade Fire. My tent got broken by some drunk (not that everyone aren't drunks there!) who fell into it, so I had to sleep in a tent with four others, instead of having my own personal space, which I'd really looked forward to having.
Whatever. It was nice anyway.
My dad is picking my up in an hour or so to take me camping with Ulla and Marcus for a few days. I can safely say that after that, I had my taste of the great outdoors(!) for a very, very long time.

Everone should read Generation X by Douglas Coupland, by the way. The lifestyle described in that book is where I'm heading. I don't quite know if that scares or intrigues me. I feel as though everything he writes is quoteable, which is very rare, especially in the past books I've read.

Add me at last.fm if you have a profile there. It's one of the few advanced sites that works on my computer. I'm YellowHello over there.

Back to life, back to reality (the virtual kind)

2007-06-13T15:21:06Z

I realize it's been a month since my last post, and not only is that sad, it's stupid. I still can't sign onto livejournal from my own computer, which is weird because switching to firefox fixed the problem on a few other sites. Not www.veoh.com though, which is a shame because that's where I used to get my daily fix of Daria.
I skipped a lot of my classes, and haven't done any homework during my month away, yet managing to get an A in both oral biology and social studies, which rocks. There's still the English oral left, and a Danish essay that has to be graded. The essay was about me not wanting to write an essay, which the teachers grading it might hate or love. I'm not quite sure.
... About the two A's: I don't feel too good about them. I didn't do anything to deserve them, I just talked, whereas at least three classmates of mine spent the entire week studying, and they received C's at best. Not that it's bad, I just... I feel bad about not having to work for anything, but too tired and blah to actually do anything about it. I mean, I got those grades for saying things that even I found stupid. Or non-academic at least, one should think that a teacher would know the difference. Apparently not.
Basically I'm getting too lazy to do anything, other than playing Tomb Raider, reading odd articles on wikipedia and drawing. Also, Christina Aguilera's voice is getting on my nerves. She literally makes me turn off the TV. At least "Under my Umbrella" is out of my head. That is, before I wrote that very sentence.
Bummer.

Uhhmmm... Now that I actually bothered to go to a library to post I can't think of anything interesting to write. Not even anything boring comes to mind. I guess this is it, then. I probably should have gathered some thoughts in my actual journal to transfer onto this place, instead of just stopping by to tell you that I'm still somewhat alive.

Why I haven't been around.

2007-05-12T12:01:34Z

My internet is not working properly. It will only allow me to go on certain sites, whereas it apparently can't go on others. I think it is because there is some sort of java-script (or whatever you call it. I'm no expert or even amateur at technology) on those sites that my computer cannot process. This site is one of them. This is why I haven't been updating or commenting for almost a month - I can't get onto livejournal! I'm writing this from the library, just to let you know that I'm not dead or anything.
However, I am sorry for missing out on a couple number of birthdays... Seems like all of you are conceived around the same time. Perhaps there's a zodiac personality trait for blogging?
So a late congratulations for Alain, Lina, Skitty, Greg and anyone I might have actually forgot. I hope you had a great day, or... days!

If anyone knows how to fix the problem, please comment! I can see those, seeing how I get a mail everytime people do that.

Hopefully I'll be back soon!

Why should I be good when it feels so bad?

2007-04-22T13:29:23Z

Again, with the school-related updates, although not so much this time, I think.
I'm going to be a tutor next year, which means I'm going to a sort of boot-camp in order to be "experienced" enough to take care of all of the freshmen next semester, when they have to go on their introductional trip with me, and some other tutors as guides. I am not quite sure what this little three-day trip away from school is going to teach me, that is so important and necesary that it can't be taught someplace that's not a forest. But if it means I don't have to deal with being all smart and academic about everything most of next week, I'm down with it.

I have become too busy to properly update this journal, or my real-life one. I cannot remember when I last sat down for just an hour to draw something, even just a doodle. And I miss it. I miss not being responsible, and refusing to do my homework without it mattering. Completing assignments given to me by authorities that I wouldn't do anyway have never been a part of my life before this year, and I hate it. I find it so hard finding a reason other than "you'll get kicked out of school" to do that damn homework.
Currently, math is lying on the floor, staring up at me, wanting me to complete it. Logically, I know that if I had completed it in time, it wouldn't bother me. But now I'm two assignments behind, plus I missed two tests because of being an active student. All of my written absence is in math. Not that I'm not good at it, I rock math, got a B in both my written and oral abilities.

Never mind. It'll be over in a little while. After this year I'll never have to do any of that ridiculously non-important math ever again. That I know of.
But I'm glad that I haven't been doing it, and making the school a better place instead. This year we only need 15 people to apply to the school in order for our classes to be full. 60% of those who applied had us on their first priority. I cannot help but think that some of that, if not all, is because of the work I put into making Copenhagens Open Gymnasium a more popular place.
Last year only 20 people applied, and two of them had the place as their first priority. So the work definatly payed off.

- I'm also not sure when I'll see my lover-boy again. We've been taxting for ages now, talking about meeting up, both of us being to busy to actually do anything about it. Which sucks. If it turns out that we'll go totally steady (yeah, I just revealed the valley girl within there, didn't I?) I want to see him for more than half a day every other week. He's wonderful so far, and I definately feel as though this is right... There's just not enough of this right wonder in my life for me to actually be sure about anything.

I'm off to do my math now, like a good boy. I'll return later today to see what you guys on my f-list have been up to.

I might be somewhat of a genius.

2007-04-17T18:33:18Z

I just took an online-test of my IQ, and I received a result that I don't really believe, or at least I want a second opinion to be sure. Does anyone here know about a reliabe IQ test that can be found for free online? Or if that is even a posibility?

Also, nothing going on except lots of homework, and a bit of texting with special someones.

And by the way...

2007-04-16T16:19:31Z

Everyone on my flist HAS to see this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZw-8RSyvh8
- It's Alanis Morisette in a parody of Fergie's "My Humps", making it her own social commentary on how cracked out capitalist, sexist, violent and plain wrong the current state of pop-culture is, as she's moving up against the men as a desperate kitty in heat, looking for their attention, and yet beating them down when they notice this hookeresque behaviour and responding to it.
I'm thinking on presenting this as my current "favourite song" in English. That way I can both be super-political and angry feminist-Aleksander, as well as being so much of a Generation X ten years later that I pick a parody for my presentation. Or something.

By the way... I read a bit of my own journal, and noticed that I make quite a lot of typos. Is this very annoying? And do I make them often?
Did anyone notice?

Homework is killing my life.

2007-04-10T20:49:55Z

So, the time I should have spent finishing (or even getting started on) my homework was spent flirting with a bunch of really nice people and being happy instead. Not that I would trade that away for anything in the world, but I can't really go up to the administration of the school and explain how that is the reason for me not turning in any of the written assignments.
But seeing how I've been having a hard day at work, and had both History (about Denmarks very exciting (!) evolution of farming-methods throughout the ages) and a frustrating English-class with a teacher who has yet to learn the difference between saying "persons" and "people" and how the latter sounds intelligent whereas the other doesn't. Or maybe I was just feeling really pissy about having to go to school again.

But I need your help! I know that a whole lot of people on my f-list are talented writers, and I'm too tired to proofread my one page limit-English essay yet again, and it's for tomorrow, which can't possibly equal a mark on the good list.
- I am not sure how many of you rock at Spanish, if any, but if someone would say that my translations of reflective and futuristic verbs rocks that would make my day!
Both things are under the cut.

Spanish
A1: Diftongerende verber. <-- Be damned if I know that word in English.

1. Vosotros ¿queréis fumar un cigarillo?
2. Yo quiero hablar con ellos.
3. Y tú ¿qué quieres comer?
4. El niño quiere un bocadillo
5. Nosotros queremos leer el periódico.
6. ¿Quién quiere una naranja?

B1: Reflective verbs.

1. Yo me acuestado temprano
2. Mis padres se acuestan
3. La niña se acuesta a las ocho
4. Nosotros nos acostamos a las doce
5. Vosotros ¿a qué hora os acostáis?

C1: Futurum with ir

1. Hoy no estudio pero mañana voy a estudiar.
2. Ahora no decimos adios pero mañana vamos a decir adios.
3. Hoy no cantan pero mañana van a cantar.
4. Hoy no viajamos pero mañana vamos a viajar.
5. Hoy no es una costumbre pero en el futuro va a estar una costumbre.
6. Hoy no están cansados pero mañana van a estár cansados.
7. No visitamos la ciudad pero mañana vamos a visitar la ciudad.
8. Juan no telefonea hoy pero mañana va a telefonar.
9. Hoy cenáis en casa pero mañana vais a cener en casa de la abuela.
10. Mis amigos no vienen hoy pero mañana van a vienar.

English

Summer of Love
Sometimes I like to think about where I will be in five years. It is soothing to sort of fast-forward all the rather grey areas of life, as in boring, but also in the “black and white” kind of way. I usually skip all the parts where I actually have to do something in order to achieve this fictional goal.
And other times, it is hard not think about the present. Especially when I am standing on the freeway, trying to hitch a ride in the baking sun.
I have been standing here for over two hours now, with every driver so far passing me, after checking me out, deciding that I look like someone they would not want in their car.
I cannot decide whether I feel this is a good thing. Because when I think about it, I do not want to be in the car with someone who believes I am an axe-murderer, or whatever.
Except I sort of do.
As I stand here, soaking my tight lime-green t-shirt with sweat while trying to smile at the cars approaching me, I start to think that there is nothing I would not do for a ride away from here.
The t-shirt clings to my body, and I start to wonder if I should take it off.
I mean, stranger without a shirt or sweaty stranger – who would you pick up?

Funny how the minute after I take off my shirt, a trucker stops and tells me to come inside. He is constantly trying to catch a peek of me while pretending to look at the side mirror. I am wondering if this was really such a great idea after all, although I would rather be considered a slut than an axe-murderer. I think.
He says that he is going to Los Angeles, and I tell him to drop me of in San Francisco. After a little while he puts his hands on my thigh and I am not doing anything about it. After standing on the freeway all day trying to get someone to pull up, it is somewhat comforting that someone wants me. He looks into my eyes, and I look at his sunglasses, not knowing whether I should smile or frown.
As he squeezes hard, showing me his teeth while chuckling, his lips surrounded by his red, dirty beard I see just how screwed up this is, and decide to tell him no.

The sun is setting, as I stand on the road again. There is only twenty miles to go according to the sign up ahead, so I could be there before Thursday turns into Friday. Still, getting picked up would be nice. There is a patch of flowers next to the sign.
And if you’re going to San Francisco, you should be sure to wear some flowers in your hair.
I hope the song is speaks the truth, even if I am forty years behind.

If you read this, you rock.

18 years of joy

2007-04-03T18:47:42Z

Congratulations Ros!
- If you were in Denmark, you'd be legal now *insert naughty smiley here*, and I'd be your jailbait.
So... How does it feel being eightteen? I'm next, so I hope you'll say sextacular!

I am Sydney Bristow, with a penis

2007-04-01T12:24:30Z

As I promised about fifty years ago, here's a post with all the different hair-colours I've ever sported throughout my life... I think. Some periods I change the colour so often I forget to document it.
Yesterday I endured the most painful thing I have ever felt. I went to a hairdresser to get blonde, for real. And not just some lame-ass strawberry blonde. No, I am now your Blondie Bear, without the leather. I plan to get seriously pink, red and blue hair sometime soon... Though I'm not sure what my work'll say about that.

Short Natural

Bleach

Natural

Bald

Sidecut

Auburn

Blonde

Dreads

Henna

Red pre-dreads

Black

Natural

Post-henna

Personal Meme

2007-04-01T10:59:00Z

Shanghaied from radiantevil

This is the problem with LJ: we all think we are so close, and we know nothing about each other. I'm going to rectify it. I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me- something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Then post this in your LJ (if you want to) and find out what people don't know about you.

I don't know what rectify means. To go against something? But anyway, I'm a book for you to read, if only you'll open me. Uhhm.
What does meme mean anyways?

I need a hug.

2007-03-23T22:08:50Z

For the first time I fainted today. As in I lost consciousness and fell of my chair and onto the floor.
We were taking blood samples in biology, to figure out which bloodtype we had. I'm AB+, by the way. Our teacher had this little machine that made little holes in our fingers, where blood was supposed to come out of in a controlled dosage. There hardly came anything out of my finger, while it was flowing in a steady stream out of my classmates' fingers. Especially the guy next to me.
I freaked out and started wondering if something was wrong with me, seeing how I couldn't bleed like the rest of the class could. And not just wrong in the biological sense, but also in a more mental one, where I felt really inadequate by not being able to get up in the mornings, not having found any close friends at the gymnasium and having trouble concentrating on doing my homework, which the rest of them seems happy to so.
Suddenly I panicked. Began shaking all over, and feeling like the inside of me was really cold, and the skin covering my insides was burning up. That is when I fainted.
It is not like I am afraid of blood or anything, not that I know of. I hope I'm not, because I have a really rare bloodtype that I would like to donate to those that need it, but if something like this'll happen whenever I have blood extracted, then I will not be able to be who I want to be, and that scares me more than anything.

I regained consciousness less than a minute after it happened, feeling really bad, just wanting to go to sleep right there on the floor. Couldn't remember how I got there. I was lucky not to have hit anything on my way down to the soft linoleum, I was told.

My teacher asked what was wrong. I said I didn't know, but I knew very well what was wrong. Just for one minute, one second even, I felt as though everything about me was wrong, which is stupid when I think about it logically, but it made so much sense to me when I frantically tried to squeeze out at least a litte drop of blood.
I am afraid to tell anyone that I had that feeling. I can't think of any situation where it might pop up naturally, without being totally out of place, and just plain stupid and attention-seeking in the bad kind of "OMG! I hate myself sometimes"-way.
It is stupid. But that does not make it any less true.

- To make it even worse, I had to go to work today, to deal with a whole bunch of customers wanting to buy baptizing presents for their little kids. I was alright by the time I got there, physically, but the thought still haunted me.
If I was in tip-top shape I'd write about how this relates to my personality, society, or whatever. But I'm not.

Kiss the cook?

2007-03-19T18:34:56Z

You know that your luck is out if all of the lightbulbs you buy don't work. And if the ones you get them exchanged to don't work either. I've realized that I am not too fond of Spanish. Maybe it has something to do with my teacher being overly dry and boring, but I found myself talking German again today, out of nowhere. It's not good German, and it never will be, but if I speak a language I hate over one that I am currently learning, something must be wrong.
Pig-latin in German is beyond hillarious, by the way.

English classes are under-stimulating. I often find myself knowing way more than my teacher, having better pronounciation, and thinking one level above her. It is as though she does not want us to be better than we're supposed to be at this level. She does not allow creative thinking, or doing anything beyond the worksheets, making it very hard to get some sort of lingual release. I find myself having trouble writing this journal, because my English is getting somewhat rusty from only speaking and writing it in relation to school.
She's the kind of teacher who says persons instead of people and pronounces the "ch"-sound in archieve as the one in "chick", making it very hard to take anything she says seriously.

Final Fantasy XII is a pretty great game un a totally unrelated note. The characters are all kind of flat, seeing how there is very little character interaction, which is a shame. The personal relationships was my favourite part of FFX.
I still have slashy feelings for Balthier and Basch, though this is based mostly on looks, seeing how they only ever spoke three sentences to eachother during the game.
Not to mistake that for a bad story. It is all very serious and political, which makes it one of those plot-driven kind of tales, which are the kind that I'm not too crazy about. I prefer my characters to control the plot, not the other way around.
Gameplay is awesome, though. Everything is in real time, which means there are no seperate screens for different kinds of situations. There's the menu and the real world, and that's about it. You actually don't have to do very much in the game, or press the buttons a whole lot if you know how to make the game work for you with "gambit", that are a kind of program you give your characters, that tell them to react on certain situations in certain ways.
It is all very clever.
- This game is what I have spent most of my time on lately.

I'm off to make some tomato-tofu thing now. Maybe it'll involve noodles.

Individual appearance, or lack of same

2007-03-10T22:20:10Z

Do you recognize this pattern? Most of you guys probably know it from bandanas, and really ugly ties. I'm one of those people who would wear that tie, and a shirt that goes with it. Today I spent fice hours looking for a shirt with this paisley pattern, so I could wear it to work in order to look bohemian, yet somewhat formal, seeing how it would be a shirt.
I wander around, browsing every shop on my way, and I'm like "Does anyone want my money?" willing to give 700 kr. (about $100, I think) for a shirt with that print, seeing how I felt like spoiling myself. Seems like it's impossible to find ANYTHING besides freaking bandanas with that print in Copenhagen, which is supposed to be the utopia of diversity, but all I see are those boring wallpaper-y shirts from Wood Wood, and their copies everywhere I go.
Whatever.
I found it in a second-hand store, not exactly what I wanted, but I won't complain, I found something resembling what I wanted.

But shopping made me think about how hard it is not to fit some mold the designers make for you. Unless you create your own clothing, you really are not able to appear as anything other than what some designer-corporation wants you to look like. How fucked up is that?
All the crappy magazines I read tell me that "being yourself" is always in, but how can I be myself if there's nothing to wear that resembles this "self" I'm trying to convey?
Ultimately, there's nothing to do but to look like the designers want you to look, even if your ten years behind your time. Which is sad. Especially because the only thing fresh this decade has brought us, fashion-wise is boho-chic (which is really just another name for pricy hippie-clothing with even more expensive accesories) and wallpaper prints on everything from bags, to shoes and shirts.
Every other design seems to be based on something that was done in the previous millenium. I find it kind of sad that I live in a Greatest Fashion Hits of the Twentieth Century-collection. Hopefully something innovating will happen sometime soon.
Or else I guess I'll just have to fit the mold of whomever envisioned the look I'm currently sporting.

The Everything Test

2007-03-10T21:42:44Z

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

Personality

You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more atheist than religious, more loner than dependant, more lazy than workaholic, more rebel than traditional, more artistic mind than engineering mind, more idealist than cynical, more leader than follower, and more extroverted than introverted.

As for specific personality traits, you are adventurous (95%), intellectual (87%), romantic (71%), artistic (66%).

Stereotypes
Punk Rock	67%
Old Geezer	67%
Emo Kid	56%

Life Experience
Sex	40%
Substances	38%
Travel	22%

Politics
Your political views would best be described as Socialist, whom you agree with around 100% of the time.

Socioeconomic
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Working Class. You make more than 0% of those who have taken this test, and 93% less than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13.
By the way, your hottness rank is 60%, hotter than 85% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite

Feeling indifferent about everything.

2007-02-25T14:18:04Z

I'm not dead. I'm not in a posty mood either, haven't been for the longest time, despite there actually being a lot of things happening that I could post about. Whatever.
I hope I'll feel like posting sometime soon. If not, then all the life-style analysts might be right. Blogging is a fad, just like Pokémon and hula hoops was.